An 18th-century vagabond in England exhausted and famished came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: George and the Dragon He knocked The Innkeeper s wife stuck her head out a window Could ye spare some victuals? He asked The woman glanced at his shabby dirty clothes No she shouted Could I have a pint of ale? No she shouted Could I at least sleep in your stable? No she shouted again The vagabond said Might I please ? What now? the woman screeched not allowing him to finish D ye suppose he asked that I might have a word with George?

Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows Trembling with fear they found an old man with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones Holy cow Mister one of them said after catching his breath You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost What are you doing working here so late at night? Those fools the old man grumbled They misspelled my name

A woman came storming at the Postal counter She gave a parcel Pick-up notice and complained This morning your mailman came with our parcel for delivery He left this note for us to pick up from Post office but my husband was home all the time Why could not he knock our doors and deliver parcel at home? The Post master was polite and apologetic He went inside brought the parcel and delivered it to the lady Then just casually he asked Ma am what is inside this parcel that upsets you so much? The lady replied My husband s first new hearing aids

Question: Why Ambulance is White in Colour? (15 marks) Ans: Ambulance has Oxygen cylinder Oxygen is a Gas and Gas is used 4 cooking Food Food is source of Vitamins and we get Vit-D from the Sun Sun produces Light; and Light comes from bulbs Small Bulbs are used to decorate Christmas tree Christmas means Gifts and Gifts are given by Santa Santa lives in North Pole and North Pole is the house of Polar Bears Polar Bears are White That s why Ambulance is White Do not play with Engineering students feelings We can write anything for good marks

1: Notice at Church Do not leave your mobile purses wallets hand-bags girlfriends unattended; others may think it is an answer to their prayers 2: Who is a Psychiatrist? Is a qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself to which your spouse also gives it to you for free daily too 3: Scotch is a brilliant Invention One double and you start feeling single again 4: Global recession and financial crisis have become so critical and serious now-a-days that The majority of men have started loving their own wives

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house You did a great job he said and handed the man a check Also in order to thank you here s an extra 80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie The painter thanked him and agreed to do that Later that night the doorbell rang and it was the painter Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked What s the matter did you forget something? Nope replied the painter I m a man of my word I m here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes size 8 The obviously well trained salesman says But sir you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half Just bring me a size eight The sales guy brings them and the man stuffs his feet into them and stands up in obvious pain He turns to the salesman and says I`ve lost my house to the I R S I live with my mother-in-law my daughter ran off with my best friend my business has filed Chapter 11 and my son just told me he was gay The only pleasure I have left is to come home at night and take my shoes off

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl One day she told him that the next day was her birthday He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses one for each year of her life That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning As the florist was preparing the order he decided that since the young man was such a good customer he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl One day she told him that the next day was her birthday He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses one for each year of her life That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning As the florist was preparing the order he decided that since the young man was such a good customer he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him

It s more than obvious: The high technology of the information age isn t for everyone Consider the man standing by the office fax machine and scratching his head when a co-worker walks by Do you know anything about this fax machine? the puzzled fellow asks A little What s wrong? Well I sent a fax and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page I tried it again and the same thing happened How did you load the sheet? the other worker asks Well it s confidential so I folded it in half like this so no one else could read it

अपनी बेबसी केसै बताएँ यारो
ज्यादा हँस भी ले तो भी माँ बोलती है
कमीण आज किस छोरी न नम्बर दे आया

Two old men meet on a street corner The first old man said Where have you been for the last couple of months? The 2nd old man replied I was in jail The 1st old man asked You were in jail? Why were you in jail? He replied Well about two months ago I was standing on a corner and this beautiful young woman rushes up with a policeman points to me and says He is the man officer he is the one who attacked and raped me The 1st old man said What? And you let her get away with it? 2nd old replied Well I ll tell you I felt so flattered I admitted to it

God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him God we don t need you anymore Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words we can now do what you did in the beginning Oh is that so? Tell Me replies God Well says the scientist we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it thus creating man Well that s very interesting show Me So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man No no no interrupts God Get your own dirt

I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap On one wall there s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates Then the priest comes in I say to him Father forgive me for it s been a very long time since I ve been to confession but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be He replies Get out you moron you re on my side

A lady was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light the car just died It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her starting growing The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as the lady continued to try getting the car to start up again Finally she got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her I can t seem to get my car started she said smiling Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me I ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you