A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens On returning home he breathlessly informed his mother There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens How did you know? his mother asked Daddy picked them up and looked underneath he replied I think it s printed on the bottom

A boy was caught stealing a watch from a shop He was taken to a police station and put in a lock-up A hardened criminal lodged there showed some sympathy and said You are wasting time on small items Why don`t you rob a bank? The boy replied By the time I leave school all banks are closed

Two small boys were overheard talking one day My name is Jimmy What s yours? asked the first boy Johnnie replied the second My Daddy s an accountant What does your Daddy do for a living? asked Jimmy Johnnie replied My Daddy s a lawyer Honest? asked Jimmy No just the regular kind replied Johnnie

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses She started her class by saying Everyone who thinks you`re stupid stand up After a few seconds Little Johnny stood up The teacher said Do you think you`re stupid Little Johnny? No ma`am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself

Little Suzie watched fascinated as her mother was putting cold cream on her face Why are you rubbing that cream on your face Mommy? she asked To stay pretty for Daddy said her mother A few minutes later she began removing the cream with a tissue What s the matter Mommy asked Suzie are you giving up?

The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that happened during the past week Little Johnny got up and read his essay It began Daddy fell into the well last week My goodness the teacher exclaimed Is he all right? He must be said the boy He stopped yelling for help yesterday

Six-year-old Pappu came downstairs crying loudly What s the matter? asked his mother Papa was hanging pictures and he just hit his thumb with a hammer said Pappu That s not so serious soothed his mother A big man like you shouldn t cry at a trifle like that Why didn t you just laugh? I did sobbed Pappu

What s your father s occupation? asked the school secretary filling in the forms at the start of the academic year He s a magician said the small boy How interesting What s his favourite trick? Sawing people in half Really? Now next question Any brothers or sisters? Yes One half-brother and two half-sisters

A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher The teacher was asking them all questions: Sanju what noise does a cow make? It goes moo Ajay what noise does a cat make? It goes meow Rahul what sound does a lamb make? It goes baaa Dolly what sound does a mouse make? Ummm It goes click

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house Is that your grandmother? I asked Yes Chris said She s come to visit us for Christmas How nice I said Where does she live? At the airport Chris replied Whenever we want her we just go out there and get he

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher She was going around in turn asking them all questions Davy what noise does a cow make? It goes moo Alice what noise does a cat make? It goes meow Jamie what sound does a lamb make? It goes baaa Jennifer what sound does a mouse make? Errr it goes click

A wife invited some people to dinner At the table she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said Would you like to say the blessing? I wouldn`t know what to say the girl replied Just say what you hear Mommy say the wife answered The daughter bowed her head and said Lord why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?

Working as a pediatric nurse I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle No no no she screamed Lizzie scolded her mother that s not polite behavior With that the girl yelled even louder No thank you No thank you No thank you

Two small boys not yet old enough to be in school were overheard talking at the zoo one day My name is Billy What s yours? asked the first boy Tommy replied the second My Daddy s an accountant What does your Daddy do for a living? asked Billy Tommy replied My Daddy s a lawyer Honest? asked Billy No just the regular kind replied Tommy

A girl was crying bitterly Mom: What happened dear? Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch? Mom: No Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad? Mom: No Daughter: Is my nose flat? Mom: No baby Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog? Mom: You have a fine physique you are a barbie doll Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?