A young woman wasn t feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician I know a great one in the city but he is very expensive Five hundred dollars for the first visit and one hundred dollars for each one after that The woman went to the doctor s office and trying to save a little money cheerily announced I m back Not fooled for a second the doctor quickly examined her and said Very good just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit

The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward He asks the head of psychology How do you determine if a patient is cured The psychologist explains: We take them to the bathtub which is filled with water hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub I see says the health minister the cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger and would empty the tub faster Actually no replies the psychologist a normal person would simply pull the plug

A young woman wasn t feeling well and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician I know a great one in the city but he is very expensive One thousand rupees for the first visit and one hundred rupees for each one after that The woman went to the doctor s office and trying to save a little money cheerily announced I m back Not fooled for a second the doctor quickly examined her and said Very good just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work As he was tuning into the evening news the phone rang The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line We need a fourth for poker said the friend I ll be right over whispered the doctor As he was putting on his coat his wife asked Is it serious? Oh yes quite serious said the doctor gravely In fact three doctors are there already

Once a doctor got a telephone call in the middle of night The caller sounded very excited Doctor please come at once My wife is in great pain and I am sure it is appendicitis” he said The doctor assured him that there was no need to panic I will come in the morning The man protested But doctor my wife is really serious The doctor replied I took out your wife s appendix two years ago She can not have another The caller protested That is alright doctor but now I have got another wife

A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother The psychic s eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning Eventually a voice comes saying Granddaughter? Are you there? The granddaughter wide-eyed responds Grandma? Is that you? Yes granddaughter it s me It s really you Grandma? the woman repeats Yes it s really me granddaughter The woman pauses a moment Grandma I have just one question for you Anything my child When did you learn to speak English?

A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother The psychic s eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning Eventually a voice comes saying Granddaughter? Are you there? The granddaughter wide-eyed responds Grandma? Is that you? Yes granddaughter it s me It s really you Grandma? the woman repeats Yes it s really me granddaughter The woman pauses a moment Grandma I have just one question for you Anything my child When did you learn to speak English?

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office and his staff was helping transport many of the items I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car his bony arm across the back of my seat I hadn`t considered the drive across town At one traffic light the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious and I looked across and explained I`m delivering him to my doctor`s office The other driver leaned out of his window I hate to tell you lady he said but I Think It`s *too* late

The nursing student on her first rotation in the ICU had to give a patient a full bed bath She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it To make matters worse the patient was a gentleman in his late sixties who had been admitted after a heart attack As se nervously set her equipment up she confessed to the patient that she had never given a full bed bath before I ll tell you what he said how about if you wash as far down as possible and as far up as possible and then I ll wash possible?

The orthopedic surgeon Joe worked for was moving to a new office and his staff was helping transport many of the items Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car his bony arm across the back of his seat Joe hadn t considered the drive across town At one traffic light the stares of the people in the car beside him became obvious and he looked across and explained I m delivering him to my doctor s office The other driver leaned out of his window I hate to tell you he said but I think it s too late

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid but he felt unwilling to spend much money How much do they cost? he asked the clerk That depends said the salesman They run from 2 to 2 000 Let s see the 2 model he said The clerk put the device around the man s neck You just stick this piece of plastic in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket he instructed How does it work? the customer asked For 2 it doesn t work the salesman replied But when people see it on you they ll talk loude

The orthopedic surgeon Joe work for was moving to a new office and his staff was helping transport many of the items Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car his bony arm across the back of his seat Joe hadn t considered the drive across town At one traffic light the stares of the people in the car beside him became obvious and he looked across and explained I m delivering him to my doctor s office The other driver leaned out of his window I hate to tell you lady he said but I think it s too late

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache Since his operation had been an intestinal one there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache Finally his nurse fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock spoke to the doctor about it The doctor assured the nurse Don t worry about a thing He really does have a bump on his head About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic

A patient complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night Before it happens do you see any dreams? the doctor said Yes doctor Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says Let s pee OK the doctor said Next time you see the demon say No we ve already peed Next time the patient came to the doctor the latter asked So? Did you do as I said? Yes I did Did it help? Yes doctor Only it made the matter worse How? As I said We ve already peed the demon nodded and said Then let s shit a little

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid but he felt unwilling to spend much money How much do they run? he asked the clerk That depends said the salesman They run from 100 bucks to 10 000 Let s see the cheaspest model he said The clerk put the device around the man s neck You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket he instructed How does it work? the customer asked For 100 RS it doesn t work the salesman replied But when people see it on you they ll talk loude