After being with her all evening the man couldn t take another minute with his blind date Earlier he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened When he returned to the table he lowered his eyes put on a grim expression and said I have some bad news My grandfather just died Thank heavens his date replied If yours hadn t mine would have had to
After a rigorous drilling program a group of ROTC cadets was about to board the trucks back to the barracks Just for fun the cadets got into formation with their caps on backward The lieutenant in charge was indignant at the breach of military decorum and dressed down the cadet leader Cadet I want to see those caps facing front immediately Unshaken the young cadet captain called his group to attention then commanded: About face
एसी जो देखन मैं गया एसी ना मिलया कोय
जब घर लौटा आपणे गर्मी में ऐसी-तैसी होय
A picky customer comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit Give me three dozens of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper please he says to the saleswoman She does And three dozens of cherries please and wrap up every one in a separate piece of paper too She does And what is that there he asks pointing out a bushel in the corner Grapes says the saleswoman but they are not for sale
Titanic was about to sink People on the ship were shouting crying running and praying to God - just then a passenger had the following conversation with the captain Passenger: How far is land from here? Captain: Two miles Passenger: Only two miles then why these fools are making noise I have the experience of swimming even more Captain: ???? Passenger: Just tell me in which direction land is two miles from here? Captain: Downward
Typical Conference Calls in Corporates: Caller 1: Hi this is Dheeraj from Sales Silence All waiting others to Join Caller 2: Hi this is Ajay from Marketing Silence All waiting others to Join Caller 3: Hi its Shyam from Finance Silence All waiting others to Join Caller 4: Hello Kuldeep from Administration Silence All waiting others to Join Caller 5: Hi this is Neha from HR All: Hi Neha Hi Neha Hello Neha Good Morning Neha
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign hit his car broadside and knocked him cold Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics Later when he was calm they asked him why he struggled so He said I remember the impact then nothing I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge flashing `Shell` sign And somebody was standing in front of the `S`
Training courses now available for women on the following subjects: Topic 1 - Silence the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Topic 2 - The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits Topic 3 - Parties: Going Without New Outfits Topic 4 - Bathroom Etiquette: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too Topic 5 - Common Skills : Tears - The Last Resort not the First Topic 6 - Common Skills II: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
Two guys went duck hunting One drank a bottle and a half of whisky while the other kept watch After two hours a solitary duck flew up The sober man took aim but missed Quick he said to his drunken friend try and hit that duck The drunk waved his shotgun in the vague direction of the sky pulled the trigger and hit the duck That s amazing said the sober one Not really replied the drunk When there s a whole flock you can hardly miss
Who s the father of the chicken? Chiken Ka-bab Who s the mother of the chicken ? Chicken Ki-ma How do you tell a chicken to call you on your mobile? Kal-mi kabab What happens when a chicken takes a bath ? Chicken shower-ma Chicken in trouble? Chicken soup Chicken getting injection chicken Tee-ka Chicken doing flattery Butter chicken Chicken 5yrs after retirement Chicken 65 Sweaterless chicken in a winter night Chilly Chicken
The limousine was taking the beautiful raven-haired model to the airport Halfway there the front tire went flat The model said Driver I don`t have time to wait for road service Can you change it yourself? The driver said Sure He got out of the car and proceeded to change the tire but couldn`t get the wheel cover off The model saw him struggling and asked Do you want a screwdriver? He said Sure But first I have to change this tire
गर्मी में बुझी बुझी सूरत जली-जली स्किन
कन्या कोई न देखे मुड़के आ गए ऐसे दिन
An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students` written work She was not sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples A student asked What`s the matter Mrs Sheridan? Tense she replied describing her emotional state After a slight pause the student tried again What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter ?
An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students` written work She was not sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples A student asked What`s the matter Mrs Sheridan? Tense she replied describing her emotional state After a slight pause the student tried again What was the matter? What has been the matter? What migh thave been the matter ?
Beggar: Give me food Man: I ll give you Vodka Beggar: I don t drink Give me food Man: I ll give you cigarettes Beggar: I don t smoke Man: I ll take you to race Beggar: I don t gamble Man: I ll get you girl friend Beggar: I love only my wife Man: I ll give you food but first you have to come to my house Begger: Why? Man: I want my wife to see what state people get into when they don t Drink Smoke Gamble Love only their own WIFE
