After being away on business Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift How about some perfume? he asked the cosmetics clerk She showed him a bottle costing 50 00 That`s a bit much said Tom so she returned with a smaller bottle for 30 00 That`s still quite a bit Tom groused Growing annoyed the clerk brought out a tiny 15 00 bottle What I mean said Tom is I`d like to see something really cheap So the clerk handed him a mirro
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap Santa doesn t usually take requests from adults but she smiled very nicely at him so he asked her What do you want for Christmas? Something for my mother please said the young lady Something for your mother? Well that s very thoughtful of you smiled Santa What do you want me to bring her? Without blinking she replied A son-in-law
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap Santa doesn t usually take requests from adults but she smiled very nicely at him so he asked her What do you want for Christmas? Something for my mother please said the young lady Something for your mother? Well that s very thoughtful of you smiled Santa What do you want me to bring her? Without blinking she replied A son-in-law
A man really loved a woman but he was just too shy to propose to her Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married Of course they dated about once a week for the past six years but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together But one day he became determined to ask her the question So he calls her on the phone June Yes this is June Will you marry me? Of course I will Who s this?
Little Noah came into the house with a new harmonica Grandpa do you mind if I play this in here? Of course not Noah I love music In fact when your grandma and I were young music saved my life What happened? Well it was during the famous Johnstown flood The dam broke and when the water hit out house it knocked it right off the foundation Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely How about you? Me? I accompanied her on the piano
After being with her all evening the man couldn t stand another minute with his blind date Earlier he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone an hour into the evening so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened When he returned to the table he lowered his eyes put on a grim statement and said I have some bad news My grand- father has just died Thank God his date said If yours hadn t mine would ve had to
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh Just before it goes on you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh rain When you approach the milk cases you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh butter fat When you approach the egg case you hear hens cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle
It was a poor a hungry thirsty bum He was looking for food in a garbage can when suddenly he finds a can of beer He opens the can and a magic genie comes out You get three wishes be very careful and don t spoil them OK OK and without hesitation he says first I want to be white Second I want a lot of girls naked girls beautiful girls sitting on my face And third I want plenty to drink lots of water Bam presto the Magic Genie turned him into a toilet
किसी को अपने खराब मोबाईल की बैटरी मंगवाना हो तो बोल दो
मोदी जी चायना में ही है
Kangana hit the ball Kangana took a single Kangana did not reach the crease Kangana Ranaut Sameera went to a parlor Sameera did her hair Sameera did her makeup Sameera Reddy Ratan comes Ratan Hi Ratan goes Ratan Tata Hrithik buys bulb Hrithik puts bulb in socket Hrithik switches bulb on Hrithik Roshan Lance arms are weak Lance joins gym Lance does chin-ups Lance Armstrong Pankaj got a lottery ticket Pankaj did not win Pankaj Udaas
A wealthy old farmer was having a family reunion with his large family and as they all sat down to the table for a Sunday dinner the old man looked around at his six big strapping sons and said: I don t see any grandchildren around this table of mine I want you all to know that I will give 10 000 to the first one of you who presents me with a grandchild We will now say grace When he raised his eyes again he and his wife were the only ones at the table
The Matchmaker goes to see Mr Smith a confirmed bachelor for many years Mr Smith don t leave it too late I have exactly the one you need You only have to say the word and you ll meet and be married in no time says the Matchmaker Don t bother replies Mr Smith I ve two sisters at home who look after all my needs That s all well and good but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife I said two sisters I didn t say they were MY sisters
Two elderly ladies were discussing their husbands over tea One of the old ladies said I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails He makes me terribly nervous The other old woman replied My Billy used to do the same thing but I broke him of the habit How? asked the first old lady rather curious I`ve been trying everything and I`ve even consulted our family doctor but to no avail What did you do??? The other lady replied I *hid* his teeth :-)
Observing a light across the water the captain had his signalman instruct the other vessel to change her course ten degrees south The response was prompt Change your course ten degrees north I am a captain he responded testily Change your course ten degrees south The reply I m a seaman first class--change your course north The captain was furious Change your course now I m on a battleship Change your course ten degrees north sir--I m in a lighthouse
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting on a Saturday morning after breakfast Dad: People this is unacceptable You have to limit the use of the phone I do not use this phone I use the one at the office Mum: Same here I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone Son: Me too I never use the home phone I always use my company mobile Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones
