गर्मी में बुझी बुझी सूरत जली-जली स्किन
कन्या कोई न देखे मुड़के आ गए ऐसे दिन

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist Could you taste this for me please? The chemist takes the teaspoon puts it in his mouth swills the liquid around and swallows it No not at all says the chemist Oh that s a relief says Paddy The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for suga

If you can convince a female in less than 5 minutes then she is your mom If you can convince a female in 15 minutes then she is your sister If you can convince a female in 30 minutes then she is your daughter If you can convince a female in 1 hour then she is your girl friend If you can convince a female in 3 hour then she is your lover And ultimately If you can t or don t even get a chance to convince a female then she is your wife

In his autobiography Treasure in clay Bishop Fulton Sheen tells of getting lost in Philadelphia on his way to a lecture at the Town Hall I stopped to ask a few boys for directions They told me where the Town Hall was and then asked What are you going to do there? Bishop said I am giving a lecture on heaven and how to get there Would you like to come and find out? You re kidding; one boy said You don t even know the way to the Town Hall

A young reporter was given the opportunity to interview a very successful very wealthy banker The reporter asked him Sir What is the secret of your success? He said Two words young man And Sir what are they? Right decisions But how do you make right decisions? One word he responded And sir What is that? Experience And how do you get Experience? Two words And Sir what are they? The banker replied with a wry smile Wrong decisions

A girl went to introduce the man she wanted to get married to her father Father: So you want to marry my daughter what do you do for a living? Man: I just got out of prison I will search for a job soon Father: Whaaaat You were in prison and you want to marry my daughter with that bad record what did you do? Man: I killed a person Father: What did the person do? Man: He denied me to marry his daughter Father: Welcome to the family son

A man should showing off his knowledge to another asked if he knew what shape the world was I don`t know said the second Give me a clue It is the same shape as the buttons on my jacket said the first Square said the second That is my Sunday jacket said the first I meant my weekday jacket Now what shape is the world? Square on Sunday round on weekday said the second man Contributed by:-Mr Singh email address:- funnyjokes rediffmail com

A Paksitani boy got admission in an American school Teacher: What s your name ? Boy: Ahmad Teacher: No now you are in America your name is Johny from today Boy went home Mom Asked: how was the day Ahmad? Boy: I am an American now call me Johnny Mom Dad both got offended and beat him up Next day he was back to school all bruised Teacher: What happend Johnny? Boy: Ma am just 4 hours after I became American I was attacked by two Pakistanis

Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday Before opening the gift the boss shook it slightly and noticed that it was wet in the corner Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it he asked A bottle of wine? His employees replied No Again he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid A bottle of scotch? His employees replied again No Finally the boss asked I give up What is it? His workers responded A puppy

रहिमन कूलर राखिये बिन कूलर सब सून
कूलर बिना ना किसी को गर्मी में मिले सुकून

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day While fishing the old man starts talking about how times have changed The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around Teen says Grandpa they didn t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they? Grandpa replies Nope Teen says Well what did you guys use for safe sex? Grandpa replies A wedding ring

I remember one time when I was home visiting my folks My mom asked me to set the table for dinner I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risqué picture of a lovely slender perfectly built but scantily clad young woman “Mom what s this? I asked Oh I put that up there to remind me not to overeat she answered Is it working? I asked Yes and no she explained I ve lost 15 pounds but your dad has gained 20

1) There is no wind in the football 2) I talk he talk why you middle middle talk? 3) You rotate the ground 4 times 4) You go and understand the tree 5) I ll give you clap on your cheeks 6) Bring your parents and your mother and especially your father 7) Close the window airforce is coming 8) I have two daughters and both are girls 9) Stand in a straight circle 10) Don stand in front of my back And the best one 11) Why Haircut not cut ?

A man was standing in a gallery studying two near-identical pictures by the same artist Both showed a glass of wine a basket of bread rolls a bowl of salad and a plate of smoked salmon Yet one painting was priced 150 the other at 125 So he asked the gallery owner to explain why one was more expensive than the other It s simple said the gallery owner indicating the more expensive painting You get two extra slices of smoked salmon in that one

The skipper of a tramp steamer in writing up the log recording an eventful day rounded off his task with the entry: Mate intoxicated To the mate who indignantly protested on reading it the skipper retorted: Well it s true ain t it? On the following day it was the mate s duty to write up the log and he completed his account with Skipper sober The captain stared at it for a moment then exploded Well it s true ain t it? was the mate s rejoinde