John was talking to his fiance Rebecca He said Be honest now baby How am I as a lover? To which she replied Honey I would definitely say that you re warm Really? he said excitedly Yes in fact I would say that you re the dictionary definition of the word warm John was pleased until he went home and just for fun checked his dictionary and found WARM: Not so hot
बेबस होना किसे कहते है
जब आस्था चैनल चल रहा हो और रिमोट खो जाये
A teenager who had just received her learner s licence for driving offered to drive her parents to church After a hair-raising ride they finally reached their destination Thank you said the mother as she got out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief Anytime her daughter replied As the mother closed the door she said I wasn t talking to you I was talking to God
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died Another month passes and he`s back at the dealers for another hundred chickens I think I know where I`m going wrong he tells the dealer I think I`m planting them too deep
Grandpa was always going on about the good old days and the lower cost of living in particular to his grandson When I was a kid my mom could send me to the store and I d get a salami two pints of milk 6 oranges 2 loaves o bread a magazine and some new blue jeans all for a dollar Grandson You can t DO that anymore they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look
Several weeks after a young man had been hired he was called into the personnel director s office What is the meaning of this? the director asked When you applied for this job you told us you had five years experience Now we discovered this is the first job you ve ever held Well the young man replied in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination
An attorney telephoned the Governor s mansion just after midnight insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency An aide eventually agreed to wake up the Governor So what is it? grumbled the Governor Judge Garber has just died said the attorney and I want to take his place The Governor replied: Well it s OK with me if it s OK with the undertake
A woman sat down on a park bench glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax After a while a dirty old beggar came up to her and said Good Morning luv how about us going for a walk together now? How dare you yelped the woman what the hell do you think I am some sort of cheap pickup? Well then said the beggar what are you doing in my bed?
Several weeks after a young man had been hired he was called into the personnel director s office What is the meaning of this? the director asked When you applied for this job you told us you had five years experience Now we discovered this is the first job you ve ever held Well the young man replied in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said When we were first married I would come home from the office my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking Now after ten years it`s all different I come home the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking Why complain ? said the counselor You re still getting the same service
: A fellow in a bar notices a woman always alone come in on a fairly regular basis After the second week he made his move No thank you she said politely This may sound rather odd in this day and age but I`m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love That must be rather difficult the man replied Oh I don`t mind too much she said But it has my husband pretty upset
A snobbish tourist was visiting a small Australian village when he noticed a local man wearing a highly ornate necklace that featured 10 alligator teeth He approached the man and in a condescending manner said Goodness what a fancy necklace I guess you people must value alligator teeth the same way my people value pearls The man replied Well anyone can open up an oyste
Whatever you give a woman she will make it greater If you give her a sperm she ll give you a baby If you give her a house she ll give you a home If you give her groceries she ll give you a meal If you give her a smile she ll give you her heart She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her So if you give her any aggravation be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return
Two campers were aroused one night by the sounds of a huge bear tearing up their campsite Realizing that the bear would soon make its way to their tent they started planning their strategy One of the campers started putting on shoes His buddy said Hey even with shoes on you ll never outrun that bear He replied I don t *have* to outrun the bear I just have to outrun *you*
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn`t getting any respect Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: I`m the Boss He then taped it to his office door Later that day when he returned from lunch he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: Your wife called she wants her sign back
