Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept: Musharraf: Mr President I would like to express my condolences to you It is a real tragedy So many people such great building I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that Bush: What buildings? What people?? Musharraf: Oh and what time is it in America now? Bush: It s Eight in the morning Musharraf: Oops Will call back in an hou
A guy goes into the confessional box He finds on one wall afully equipped bar with Guinness on tap On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars Then the priest comes in Father forgive me for it s been a long time since I ve been to confession but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days The priest replies Get out You re on my side
Dear Dad Berlin is wonderful people are nice and I really like it here but Dad I am bit ashamed to arrive to my college with my Gold Mercedes when all my Teachers travel by train Your Son Nasser Sometime later Nasser gets reply to his e-mail from his Dad: Loving son Twenty Million Dollars transferred to your account please stop embarrassing us go and get yourself a train too Your Dad
बाट ना देखिए एसी की चला लीजिए फैन
चार दिनों की बात है फिर आगे सब चैन
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically almost in a dancing frenzy with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric socket Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it breaking his arm in two places Up to that moment he had been happily listening to his iPod
A very tight man was looking for a gift for a friend Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken which he could purchase for almost nothing He asked the store to send it hoping his friend would think it has been broken in transit In due time he received an acknowledgement: Thanks for the vase it read It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately
At a pharmacy Judi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs but said that she would figure the infant s weight by weighing Judi and baby together on the adult scale then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first It won t work Judi countered I m not the mother I m the aunt
John who is noted for his gracious manners was awakened one morning at 4:00 a m by his ringing telephone Your dog s barking and it s keeping me awake said an angry voice John thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up The next morning at precisely 4:00 a m John called his neighbor back Good morning Mr Williams I just called to say that I don t have a dog
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch I couldn t help noticing how happy you look she said What s your secret for a long happy life? Well honey I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day he said Five packs of cigarettes I also drink a case of whiskey a week eat fatty foods and never exercise That s amazing the woman said How old are you? Twenty-eight he said
A biker stops when he notice a young girl who s about to jump off a bridge He asks her: Do you mind giving me the final kiss before you jump? She quietly accepted and gave him one of the deepest lingering kisses he had ever had When she finished the biker said: Wow this is the best Kiss I ever had Why are you committing suicide? She replied: My parents don t like me dressing up like a girl
In a small town a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says So how is your strange business going? What do you mean strange? Because you sell only trumpets and guns So? Well let me put it this way what do you sell the most trumpets or guns? It evens itself out Each time a customer buys a trumpet one of his neighbors buys a gun
A tourist from San Francisco goes on his first trip overseas Upon arriving he is visibly puzzled while filling out his visa application The border official looks over his shoulder and sees the tourist trying to write Twice a week in the space labeled SEX The official explains: No no no That is not what we mean by this question We are asking Male or Female Doesn t matter the tourist answers
Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning I answered the telephone When the caller asked for field engineering I explained that it was before normal business hours but that I would help if I could What s your job there? the caller asked me I m the president I replied There was a pause Then he said I ll call back later I need to talk to someone who knows something
A farmer was in town at noon and went intoa a restaurant for a hamburger and french fries When he was served he quietly bowed his head and gave the Lord thanks for his food Some rough-looking fellows at the next table saw him and thought they would give him a hard time One of them called out Hey Farmer does everyone do that where you live? No Son answered the farmer the pigs and donkeys don t
One day Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner As soon as the waiter took out two steaks Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself Tom wasn t happy about that When are you going to learn to be polite? Bill If you had the chance to pick first which one would you pick? Tom The smaller piece of course Bil What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want right?
