Just before Christmas an honest politician a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel Just before the doors opened they all noticed a 20 bill lying on the floor Which one picked it up? Santa of course because the other two don t exist
A farmer who went to a big city to see the sights asked the hotel`s clerk about the time of meals Breakfast is served from 7 to 11 dinner from 12 to 3 and supper from 6 to 8 explained the clerk Look here inquired the farmer in surprise when am I going to get time to see the city?
Attending a wedding for the first time a little girl whispered to her mother Why is the bride dressed in white? Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life The child thought about this for a moment then said So why is the groom wearing black?
A recruit who wasn t really meant to be a soldier went out to the rifle range for the first time He missed every target and most of the hills behind them Despondent he said to the sergeant I think I ll just go and shoot myself The sergeant said Better take a couple of extra bullets
A professor was warning his students against the hazards of kissing You should know when a boy kisses a girl transfers 40 000 germs from his mouth to that of his girl friend What can you do about that? Pat came the reply from a girl You should give him back all his germs the same way
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies So this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said: Guess who? The controller switched the field lights off and replied: Guess where?
In the men s room at work the boss placed a sign directly above the sink It had a single word on it THINK The next day when he went to the men s room he looked at the sign and right below it immediately above the soap dispenser someone had carefully lettered another sign which read THOAP
An accountant visited the Natural History museum While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old Where did you get this exact information? I was here ten months ago and the guide told me that the dinosaur is billion years old
Bert took his dog Bernard to the vet Doctor he said sadly I m afraid I m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog s tail The vet stepped back Bert why should I do such a terrible thing? Because my mother-in-law s arriving tomorrow and I don t want anything to make her think she s welcome
How to start your day with a positive outlook Open a new file in your PC Name it as Boss Send it to the RECYCLE BIN Empty the RECYCLE BIN Your PC will ask you Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? Answer calmly Yes and press the mouse button firmly Feel better? Have A Nice Day
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog He watched the game in astonishment for a while I can hardly believe my eyes he exclaimed That s the smartest dog I ve ever seen Nah he s not so smart the friend replied I ve beaten him three games out of five
There was an earthquake recently that scared the inhabitants of a certain town One couple sent their little boy to stay with an Uncle in another district explaining the reason for the nephew`s sudden visit A day later the parents received this telegram Am returning your boy Send the earthquake
What flavors of ice cream do you have? inquired the customer Vanilla strawberry and chocolate answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper Trying to be sympathetic the customer asked Do you have laryngitis? No replied the new waitress with some effort just erm vanilla strawberry and chocolate
Apple iPhone6 in India Approx Rs 65k Other options: Bangkok Return Ticket: 21k Stay:10k Massage: 3k Shopping: 14k Savings: 17k Come back to India and buy any Xiaomi mi3 MOTO G Asus Zenfone 5 Micromax Nitro Sony C Nokia 720 You still have 4k left for 2 bottles of Jack Daniels at Mumbai Duty Free
Top answers of smart teachers If they don t know the answers: 1 I think the question is wrong 2 I ll tell you tomorrow 3 Don t ask foolish questions 4 You will study this in the next class And the most important and the smartest one is: 5 Nice question raise your hands those who know the answe
