"Sexy and I know it..." more like Ugly and you show it!

*Ignores phone call* -After texts person- "You called?"

Wedding Ring: The universe’s smallest handcuff :P

Mirror - "Ooh you look cute today!" Camara - "Lol, no."

Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!

I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone ;)

That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.

Its not you, its me... Its me that s sick of your shit.

Dear math, Im not therapist so solve your own problems.

People with STD s should glow in the dark or some shit.

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

Behind every successful man.. There is a confused woman.

we live in WTF generation - wikipedia, twitter, facebook

If you are reading this, congrats you know how to read..

Hey mom?" "WHAT!?" "Nevermind you`re not in a good mood.