If mummies are from Egypt, then from where are daddies from? :p

If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror.

Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

when someone touches my phone I automatically turn into a ninja

Being fat is like a trophy for all of the awesome food you ate.

We ve all done bad things, but that doesn t make us bad people.

Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)

Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using men s toilet.

I m not Lazy!!!
I just rest before getting tired ..

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

Standing in the shower thinking...I really need a chair in here.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

"Hey, can I borrow a pen?" *Hmmm, which pen do I not need back?*

My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.

Dear Weather You Don t Need To Show off.. I Know You re Hot :|:X