Parents Say "It s My House" But When Time To Clean "Its Your House Too

That awkward moment when you get out of the shower & there`s no towel.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make.

Running away doesn t help you with your problems, unless you are fat..

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)

Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. : )

Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie...

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

I wasn`t that drunk. Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was single.

I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.

Let me tie your shoelaces so you won t fall for anyone else ♥ :p

Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…