Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.

That awkward moment when you send a "naughty" text message to the wrong person. :p

Last night when I was drunk I asked a cat if it could talk, it replied! "Me? How?"

You know it s awkward when your parents send friend request to all your friends.:p

Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.

Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful..!

Never call a girl a bitch.
Because after that, you ll sure marry one!!

I had you and I had the world but now I prefer to have only the world without you.

Don t keep a girl guessing too long. She s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Dear "LOL".....Thanks for helping me make people think their jokes were funny. :o)

Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…

Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won t help. Sincerely, Student

Don t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other. :p

I`m not flirting. I`m just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.

When you first joined Facebook you never thought this shit would be this addictive.