I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos

Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be also if you sit down."

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research :D ;-)

Parent- Are you talking back to me? Me- Well, yeah. That`s how communication works.

Never argue with an idiot. People watching won t be able to tell the difference....

FACT: Sometimes the people who don t talk to you are the ones that really want to..

Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

I want to have a social life, but I don t really wanna spend money or put on pants.

Thinks that 99% of people in this world are Stupid. Luckily I m in the other 1%. :p

Control your "ANGER."
Bcoz It is just one letter away from D ANGER...!!!

Dear Samsung, please also start selling jeans that can accommodate your smartphones.

Sometimes On The Way To The Dream
U Get Lost And Find A Better One :D :D

That awkward moment when your parents trying to be funny in front of your friends ..

"Etc" ...A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.