Your time, energy and love is precious make sure that it is not wasted and preciously invested when dating.

prank call : "Hello, dominos?" ... "Yes, how may I help you?" ... "What`s the number to call Pizza Hut?" ;)

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

fake laughs, fake smiles, fake promises, fake love.
sounds like everything is Made In China .!!

The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water.. The beauty of office is that water bottles are allowed. :p

I sent a text saying, "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" 10 people called me. I need smarter friends.

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

It took Harry Potter 7 long ass books to catch the bad guy.
It only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.

Don t you hate it when you have an older family member on Facebook and they comment on EVERYTHING you do. :p

There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

3 reasons to stand up: 1) to get the remote 2) to go to the bathroom 3) because you`re the real slim shady...

We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a cereal killer and don’t want them to hear us.

“You`re fat.” “It runs in my family!” “Dude, no one runs in your family.”

Help a girl when she is in trouble.... Believe me...she will remember you, when she is in trouble again... :p