They say we learn from our mistakes; so I m making as many as possible!!!
Soon I will be a genius :D

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.

Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Not to brag, but I m pretty good in bed. I don t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.

More people have put on sunglasses to get their pictures clicked than actually as a protection against sunlight.

Please donate some money as I want to buy a new smart phone so that I can continue posting on the page on the go.

That awkward moment when someones telling you something boring and you have to pretend like you re interested. :p

Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition..

Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition..

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

I saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY. So I went in and applied for the job.

Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?

I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I m not leaving because of one.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)