Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

I won’t take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.

I won’t take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.

That awkward moment when someone yells at you for clicking a pen but you have to click it one more time to use it.

I refuse to go bungee jumping...I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I m not leaving because of one.

Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.

My tEaChErS WiLl sToP CaLlInG Me dUmB ,

wHeN ThEy wIlL SeE HoW CoOl tHiNgS I PoSt hErE ;)

That awkward moment when you remember something,
but you don t know if it s real or if you dream it. ;)

THE AWKWARD MOMENT when your finally take a decent picture and then as you continue to stare at it, it gets uglier.

That Awkward Moment when you still don`t understand someone after saying “what?” multiple times…

That awkward moment when your mum compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than you.

I don`t ask for much. All I want is for a group of scientists to team up & figure out a way to give me superpowers.

Me : I wasn t that drunk.
Friend : Dude, you were using the flashlight on your phone to find your phone

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.

Dear Single Guys, If a girl gives u as many chances as Dhoni has given to Rohit Sharma....She Truly Loves you... :p