I was at a restaurant last night and I thought I saw a family praying at the table. It turned out they were only texting. :p

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

Google turned 12 dis yr ...it means ve hd only 1yr left vid it ...bcz when it becomes a teenager ...it won t answr anythng .

That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like "Fuck this shit lets work at McDonald s"

Me *Doing Push Ups in Gym*: 5,6,7...

*Girl Appears*

Me: 77,78,79,80,81....

Never trust a girl that take hours to text you back but when you with them they always got the phone in their hand, texting.

NoTiCe iN A LiBrArY :
wArNiNg ,
WhIlE ReAdInG BoOkS On sEx , PlEaSe hOlD ThE BoOk wItH BoTh hAnDs ;)

That awkward moment when you`re talking to your friend on the phone & then your phone rings, realizing your call got cut out.

I watched Transformers today, and I`ve spent the past 2 hours in my garage telling my car I know his secret… He`s shy.

They say "don t drink and drive". Well.... yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. Yeah. I m a badass.

The older I get the more I notice people I enjoy being around and people I m sexually attracted to are never the same person.

This is the time every night where I try to convince myself that I will feel even better with 5 hours of sleep rather than 6.

Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.

I wish I could google “things to eat in my “fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.