If a woman asks you a question, it s better to tell her the truth , chances are she s asking you because she already knows the answe

A neighborhood kid knocked on the door today. "I m collecting for the local swimming pool." So I gave him a couple buckets of water."

If a woman asks you a question, it s better to tell her the truth , chances are she s asking you because she already knows the answe

Fill in the Blank-
Right before I die I’m going to say " I left a million dollars in the …......... !”

Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don t appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.

Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.

Lying in bed in the middle of the night trying to decide if it`s worth it to get up & pee or if you can hold it in until the morning..

Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross ur mind?
Husband : That u r a lesbian... :p

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status...
After 3 it should default to " Unstable "

Honestly, I would prefer to look back at my life and say, "I can t believe I did that!" Than instead of saying, "I wish I did that..."

I hate when I text someone all excited and I m like "HEEYY! :D" and they re like "hi"... Idiot, you better be glad I m texting you. :p

I never understand why people take pictures of themselves giving the finger... seriously, was the camera mean to you or something?! o_O

Dear friends : I have finally realised that "only way" to lose weight from green tea is, if you go to the mountain and pick it yourself

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.