The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

Dear friends : I have finally realised that "only way" to lose weight from green tea is, if you go to the mountain and pick it yourself

Me: Omg I m so sleepy. When I get home I will sleep forever. at home: *turns on the computer*

me: what s sleep

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”
so I turned on the subtitles.

If I go on a date & its bad, I m just gonna stand up and say "I m an actor, They re all actors, & you re on MTV s Date Trap!" & RUN out.

My damn phone doesn t allow me text or call due to low battery but it has enough battery to keep screaming, "Low battery, Low battery...

If you ever spill water on your phone, put it in a bowl of rice overnight. The rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.

This sex, is sex, how sex, you sex, keep sex, a sex, dumb sex, ass sex, busy sex, for sex, 20 seconds. Read this again but don`t say sex.

When someone takes your cellphone and for hours you re in no hurry to get it back...then, you realise how Hopelessly Single you are... :p

After Reading Post Of this Page some of my friends

Typing ‘ROFL’ But still sitting on the chair. oO

That awkward moment when you think someone was waving at you, so you wave back, then play it off like you were just scratching your head.

The awkward moment when someone`s zipper is down & you don`t know whether to tell, because you can`t explain why you were looking that low

Me: Hey close the door.

Parent: *leaves door open 2 centimeters*

Me: *dying whale noise*

Kim Kardashian is 32&she s pregnant, but y all hoes be 16 with 4 kids and no baby daddy. And yall calling her a slut? PLEASE, have a seat.

Next time a stranger talks to me when I m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly..
"You can see me ????"... :p