Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.

You re not fat, you re just.. easier to see. m

Patience- Its a slow way of getting pissed off.

Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

Great power comes with great electricity bills.

On the other hand...you have different fingers.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener...! :P

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Smiling when something dirty comes on your mind.

If swimming is such great cardio, explain whales

If God made everything, then God must be Chinese?

Dear Monday, can you please die or go to hell. :(

If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.