My boss just said to me “You’ve been late five days this week… do you know what that means?” I certainly do – it’s FRIDAY!

Few days before people used to wake up n 1st see GOD s Image

Now a days people wake up & see how many Text n Missed calls are dere ;):P

Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

I cant take this long distance relationship anymore... :-(
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Dear Fridge, you are coming to my room... ;-) ;D

Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…

Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…

I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.

I am scared one day my fridge will take revenge on me, every half an hour it will come to my bedroom, open the door, stare at me for three minutes, then fucks off...

Very touching prayer by a little girl.

Dear God, this Christmas please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy s Laptop... X_X :D :P

Most people have 5 sense and some people have 6 sense....
but Girls are blessed with 7 senses
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an extra sense is non sense... :D :P

I was at the park flying my kite and this random guy came up to me and said, “You flying a kite?” I replied, “Nah, I’m fishing for birds!”

Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?

I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”

Father opens the school card & sees all bad grades. “What do u have 2 say about this, son?” “Well, Dad, at least you know I’m not cheating!”

Mom: “YOU`RE GROUNDED.” Me: “Psh. Fine I don`t care.” Mom: “Give me your phone then.” Me: “OMG IM SO SORRY MOM I LOVE YOU.”