A lady had a height problem she was TOO tall being excatly 2 meters tall She hated the way she had to duck to walk through a doorway the way she felt so uncomfortable in a car So she visited an expert The expert said Go visit the Dwarven Town It s full of dwarfs Find any dwarf and ask him if he ll marry you Every time a dwarf says no you grow 10 cm shorter The lady did as she was told She went to the Dwarven Town and found a dwarf and asked if he would marry her He refused She found herself 10 cm shorter She quickly repeated this act another time on another dwarf Now 180 cm tall she decided to ask one more dwarf then go home She boldly walked up to a dwarf and asked if he would marry her The dwarf replied : No no no no no I don t want to marry a tall person like you You re too tall No no no no no

After a very busy day a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson As the train rolled out of the station the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice Hi sweetheart it s Eric I m on the train - yes I know its the six thirty and not the four thirty but I had a long meeting - no honey not with that floozie from the accounts office with the boss No sweetheart you re the only one in my life - yes I m sure cross my heart etc etc Fifteen minutes later he was still talking loudly when the young woman sitting next to him who was obviously angered by his continuous diatribe yelled at the top of her voice Hey Eric turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed Eric doesn t use his cell phone in public any longe

जब भी रोड पर कोई शराबी मिले दो घुसे मारे और
उसका बटवा और मोबाइल छिन ले इसके दो फायदे होंगे
आपको धन लाभ होगा
शराबी को दारू से नफरत हो जाएगी

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Park and was astonished to see an old man fishing rod in hand fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies Tch Tch said the passer-by to himself What a sad sight That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers I ll see if I can help So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked What are you doing my friend? Fishing sir Fishing eh? Well how would you like to come have a drink with me? The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar His host the kind fellow felt good about helping the old man and he asked Tell me old friend how many did you catch this morning? The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar blew a careful smoke ring and replied You are the fourth today si

टीचरः बस के ड्राईवर और कन्डक्टर मे क्या फर्क है
स्टुडेंटः कन्डक्टर सोया तो किसी का टिकट नही कटेगा
और ड्राईवर सोया तो सबका टिकट कट जायेगा

मेट्रो तो हरियाणा में भी आ जाती लेकिन वहाँ के लोगो ने मना कर दिया कहते हैं
ऐसी ट्रेन किस काम की जिसकी खिड़क खोलके म्हारा ताऊ बीड़ी ना फूंक सके‪

नौकरी के आर्डर में लिखा था कि सरकार की तरफ से आपको क्वार्टर मिलेगा
और हम इतने भोले थे कि जोइनिंग के दिन सुबह सोडा और नमकीन लेकर ऑफिस पहुँच गए

1 If you want to know how divided we are just look at matrimonial page of our newspaper 2 India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday 3 Marriages (Rest of the world) = x + y Marriages (In India) = 8747;xdx + 8747;ydy 4 If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child if child gets spoiled blame the mobile 5 If someone asks for dirty cloth to clean something you are in India 6 The only country where people fight to be termed backward 7 In India you don t cast your vote you vote your cast 8 An incredible country where actors are playing cricket cricketers are playing politics politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors 9 Sarcasm is like electricity half of India doesn t get it 10 And the ultimate one: Where liking a Facebook post gets you arrested raping doesn t

कल तेरी वाइफ क्यों जोर जोर से चिल्लाई क्यों थी
मेरे घर तक आवाज आई थी
अरे कुछ नहीं यार उसका फ़ोटो FACEBOOK पे अपलोड करने की जगह OLX पर अपलोड हो गया इसीलिए

A Hollywood director was shooting a big budget movie on location in the desert One day an old Indian came up to him and said Tomorrow rain And sure enough the next day it rained A few days later the old Indian appeared on set again sidled up to the director and said Tomorrow storm And sure enough the following day there was a fearful storm which brought a temporary halt to filming The director was hugely impressed by the old Indian s weather predictions and told his secretary to put the tribesman on the payroll However after a number of other successful forecasts the Indian didn t show for three weeks Then the director sent for him The director said I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow and I m relying on you What is the weather going to be like? The old Indian shrugged his shoulders Don t know Radio broken

आज एक बहुत बड़ी दुर्घटना हुई
एक आदमी ने बाइक पे बैठे बैठे तंबाकू पान खाकर सड़क पर फच्चाक् से थूका
उसे याद ही नहीं था कि उसने हेलमेट लगा रखा है

A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor man with a beautiful white horse He told the man that he would give him 500 for the horse The poor man replied I don t know mister it don t look so good and walked away The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man 1000 for the horse The poor man said I don t know mister it don t look so good On the third day the rich man offered the poor man 2000 for the horse and said he wouldn t take no for an answer The poor man agreed and the rich man took the horse home The rich man s daughter loved her present She climbed onto the horse then galloped right into a tree The rich man rushed back over to the poor man s house demanding an explanation for the horse s blindness The poor man replied I told you it don t look so good

A General retired after 35 years and realized a life-long dream of buying a bird-hunting estate in South Dakota He invited an old friend to visit for a week of pheasant shooting The friend was in awe of the General`s new bird dog Sarge The dog could point flush and retrieve with the very best and the friend offered to buy the dog at any price The General declined saying that Sarge was the very best bird dog he had ever owned and that he wouldn`t part with him at any price A year later the same friend returned for another week of hunting and was surprised to find the General breaking in a new dog What happened to Sarge? he asked Had to shoot him grumbled the General A friend came to hunt with me and couldn`t remember the dog`s name He kept calling him Colonel After that all he would do was sit on his butt and bark

An Amish was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her I m not going to cite you said the officer I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous I thank thee replied the lady I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home Also said the officer I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too Again I thank thee I shall have my husband check both when I get home True to her word when the lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector and he said he would put a new one on it immediately Also said the Amish woman The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas When he arrived on the plane he felt the seats and said Wow these seats are big The person next to him answered Everything is big in Texas When he finally arrived in Texas he decided to visit a restaurant Upon arriving he ordered a drink and got a mug placed between his hands He exclaimed Wow these mugs are big The bartender replied Everything is big in Texas After a couple of drinks the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located The bartender replied Second door to the right The blind man headed for the bathroom but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door Instead he entered the third door which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident Scared to death the blind man started shouting Don`t flush don`t flush