There are 3 kinds of people: 1 Educated 2 Uneducated 3 IIN pass out WARNING: IIN spreading faster than swine flu What courses do they do at IIN? Theories of Whatsapp? Facebook Mechanics? Laws of Twitter? Mobile internet to get costlier Alia Bhatt: Papa Suna Aapne IIN Ki Fees badh Gayee Funny IIN style interview: Interviewer: Where did you graduate from? Candidate: IIN Interviewer: How many doors are there in this room? Candidate: Two Interviewer: Choose any one to get out During a heart transplant: Doctor: Shit Nurse: What happened??? Doctor: My mobile network is gone Nurse: So??? Doctor: I don t know what to do next Nurse Why??? Doctor: I am from IIN A policeman pulls Santa for speeding and asks him to get out of the car Santa: Sir I am learning driving Police: Without Teacher? Santa: Ji Sir ji I am from IIN

Professor Johnson’s family was moving house Knowing how forgetful her husband could be his wife put a slip of paper in each of his pockets with the new address written on it When his classes were over all he had to do was to take out one of the slips and then drive to his new home But during the course of the day he uses every single piece of paper to write notes on and then gave the notes to the students Work over he got into his car it was then that he suddenly remembered that this was moving day He could not recall at all where he was to go But he had an inspiration He drove to his old house and luckily enough there were some children playing outside Hi little girl he called to a child who was near Can you tell me where the Johnson’s have moved to? Sure It/s just around the corner and two houses down Daddy

पिता- बेटा एक ज़माना था जब मैं 10/- ले कर बाज़ार जाता था और किराना, सब्ज़ी, दूध सब ले आता था
बेटा- पिताजी अब ज़माना बदल गया है आजकल हर दूकान पे CCTV-Camera लगे होते हैं

A visitor was strolling along the coastal area one morning During his walk he came upon a fellow fishing pole clutched in his hands sound asleep against the side of a huge coastal rock Just then the pole began to jerk violently Hey there cried the visitor as he roused the fisherman Look out there You have a bite So I do yawned the drowsy one glancing out at the water If you don t mind will you pull in the line for me? The visitor somewhat surprised did as he was requested Now mister continued the fisherman put some fresh bait on the hook and cast the line out for me Again the visitor complied After doing so he turned to the lazy angler You know he declared anyone as lazy as you ought to get married and have a son to do these things for him That s a good idea beamed the fisherman Know where I could find a pregnant woman?

Before going to Europe on business a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of 5 000 The loan officer taken aback requested collateral Well then here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce the man said The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank`s underground parking for safekeeping and gave him 5 000 Two weeks later the man walked through the bank`s doors and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back That will be 5 000 in principal and 15 40 in interest the loan officer said The man wrote out a check and started to walk away Wait sir the loan officer said while you were gone I found out you are a millionaire Why in the world would you need to borrow 5 000? The man smiled Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only 15 40?

Israel s economy is in a bad way inflation is getting higher and immigrants are flooding in from all over the world Problems problems problems but what should they do? So the Israeli government holds a special session to come up with a solution After several hours of talk without progress one member Yitzhak stands up and says Quiet everyone I ve got it I ve got the solution to all our problems We ll declare war on the United States of America Everyone starts shouting at once You re nuts That s crazy Hear me out says Yitzhak We declare war We lose The United States does what she always does when she defeats a country She rebuilds everything; our highways airports shipping ports schools hospitals factories and loans us money and sends us food aid Our problems would be over Sure says Benny another minister And what if we win?

Budget cuts to the Defence force forced the training team to start doing mock combat using no explosives guns or basically any equipment what-so-ever so when it came to a training scenario the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under imaginary fire and what do they do? So all of the recruits except one scatter and get down behind stuff and get into returning fire positions The Sergeant notices this one recruit standing out in the open quite relaxed and unfazed Yelling the Sergeant asks What the devil do you think you re doing? You re under fire So the recruit takes one step to the left and remains still Now the Sergeant s really annoyed He yells again What the Hell are you doing? You re under imaginary fire take cover The recruit turns to him and replies I m taking cover behind this imaginary tree Sergeant

जब फोन की घण्टी बजने पर मुंह में भरा गुटखा थूकना पड़े
लेकिन वो कॉल रॉन्ग नम्बर निकले
तो बंदा ऐसा चेहरा बनाता हैं
मानो लाखो का नुकसान हो गया हो

Just before Christmas I was shopping at a toy faire in Worcester I glanced to my left and caught sight of a queue at the doll counter; they were waiting for the shelves to be restocked with Mattel dolls As I looked I realised that in the queue was a good friend of mine Knowing Lennie well I was sure that he had no daughters nor did he have any nieces so I wondered why he should want to buy a doll at Christmas time Hey Lennie I cried I hadn t realised you collected dolls I don t he replied laughing Really I queried then you must be buying a Christmas present then? No not at all my friend responded Lennie his eyes twinkling merrily If you don t mind my asking then Lennie I said Why exactly are you standing in this particular queue? Oh that he giggled It s like this my mate he mused I ve never been able to resist a Barbie queue

Charley a new retiree greeter at Walmart just couldn’t seem to get to work on time Every day he was 5 10 even 15 minutes late But he was a good worker really tidy clean-shaven sharp-mind a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their Older Person Friendly policy One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it Finally he called him into the office for a talk Charlie I have to tell you I like your work ethic you do a bang up job but you’re being late so often is quite bothersome Yes I know boss and I am working on it Well good you are a team player That’s what I like to hear It’s odd though you’re coming in late I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces What did they say if you came in late there? They said Good morning General Tea or coffee this morning sir?

टीचर: ऐसी कौन-सी चीज है
जो आप न ही देख सकते हैं और न ही महसूस कर सकते हैं
परन्तु वो अपना काम करता रहता है
90 के दशक के बच्चे:- हवा
आज के बच्चे:- वाई-फाई

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital While on the operating table she had a near death experience Seeing God she Asked Is my time up? God said No you have another 43 years 2 months and 8 days to live Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift liposuction breast implants and a tummy tuck She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth Since she had so much more time to live she figured she might as well make the most of it After her last operation she was released from the hospital While crossing the street on her way home she was killed by an ambulance Arriving in front of God she demanded I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance? God replied I didn t bloody recognize you

A lady walks into Tiffany s She browses around spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn t pop up right now As she turns around her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism the salesman greets the lady with Good day Madam How may we help you today? Very uncomfortably but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little accident she asks Sir what is the price of this lovely bracelet? He answers Madam if you farted just looking at it you re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price

Hopkins a mummy`s boy was sent to navy After a month working there his father died The General told the official to tell Hopkins the bad news and asked him to be very keen about it since Hopkins is a very sensitive man The official told him not to worry as he knew how to deal with certain situations The official with a commanding and powerful voice said to Hopkins : Hopkins your father is dead Hopkins cried and cried for a whole month after this news Three months after Hopkin`s mother died and the general wanted to say himself the bad news The official insisted that he should give him the bad news After hesitating a little the general agreed but told him to be more keen The official lined up his soldiers and in a commanding voice he yelled: All soldiers that have their mother alive; two paces forward HOPKINS where are you coming?????

A minister a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one very hot day They were sweating profusely by the time they came upon a small lake with a sandy beach Since it was a secluded spot they left all their clothes on a big log ran down the beach to the lake and jumped in the water for a long refreshing swim Refreshed they were halfway back up the beach to the spot they d left their clothes when a group of ladies from town came along Unable to get to their clothes in time the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover in the bushes After the ladies wandered on and the men got dressed again the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates The rabbi replied I don t know about you but in my congregation it s my face they would recognize