A couple of old fraternity brothers Skip and Chip now in their 40 s would meet after work every week at their country club for a tennis game while their wives Babs and Poopsy played golf On this particular day the boys were in the locker room changing out of their business suits into their tennis clothes when Skip removed his shirt Chip noticed that Skip was wearing a brassiere Ahhh Skip said Chip if you tell me it s none of my business I ll respect that but I m really curious to know how long you ve been wearing a bra Since last Thursday Skip replied That s when Babs found it in my glove compartment

Reaching the end of the job interview the interviewer asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT And what starting salary were you looking for? The candidate responded confidently In the neighborhood of 125 000 a year depending on the benefits package The HR person said Well what would you say to a benefits package would of 5-weeks vacation 14 paid holidays full medical and dental company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every two year - say a red Corvette? The graduate sat up mouth agape and said Wow Are you kidding? And the interviewer responded Of course but you started it

A real woman is a man s best friend She will never stand him up and never let him down She will reassure him when he feels insecure And comfort him after a bad day She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires She will make sure he always feels as though he s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident sexy seductive and invincible No wait SORRY I m thinking of whiskey It s whiskey that does all that shit Never mind

A couple was going out for the evening They`d gotten ready all dolled up cat put out etc The taxi arrives and as the couple got out the cat shoots back in They don`t want the cat shut in the house so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out The wife not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver He`s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab Sorry I took so long he says Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke at her with a coat hanger to get her to come out

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young beautiful woman gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly Romance by Ralph Lauren 150 an ounce Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying Chanel No 5 200 an ounce About three floors later the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator Before she leaves she looks both beautiful women in the eye then bends over and farts and says Broccoli - 49 cents a pound

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says Oh We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle The Texan immediately says We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows The conversation has meanwhile almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field He asks And what are those? The Aussie asks with an incredulous look Don t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?

A man was speeding down the highway feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed However as they passed a speed trap he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over The officer handed him the citation received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked Officer I know I was speeding but I don`t think it`s fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast so why did I get the ticket? Ever go fishing? the policeman suddenly asked the man Ummm yeah the startled man replied The officer grinned and added Ever catch all the fish?

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter usually late November to mid-December Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring Therefore according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa s reindeer EVERY single one of them from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl We should ve known ONLY women would be able to drag a fat old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL

One day a teacher was giving a lecture on philosophy and had the class enthralled It was a brilliant lecture Suddenly over his head a bright light flashed and an angel came down and approached the teacher She said You are doing such a good job teaching this class I have decided to give you one wish You can have infinite money infinite wisdom or infinite knowledge Thinking for a minute he humbly asked for infinite wisdom She tapped him with a magic wand and disappeared in a flash The class came forward to hear the first words from a man with infinite wisdom He said It would of been wiser to take the money

The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators The crusty old-timer captain is breaking in a brand new navigator The captain opens his briefcase pulls out a 38 and rests it on the glare panel He asks the navigator Know what this is for? No sir replies the newbie I use it on navigators that get us lost explains the captain winking at his first officer The navigator then opens his briefcase pulls out a 45 and sets it on his chart table What s THAT for? queries the surprised captain Well sir replies the navigator I ll know we re lost before you will

Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Arkansas and a detective goes into the coroner`s to find the causes of death The coroner points to the first dead man This is Cletus he says He died of shock after winning 20 million on the lottery He then moves on to the second smiling corpse This is Bo the coroner says with a grin He died while doing `it` with Trudy-May Finally he moves on to the last smiling corpse This is Roscoe says the coroner He died after being struck by lightning Well asks the detective Why in hell was the fool smiling? Oh says the coroner He thought he was having his picture taken

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and of course his car is weaving violently all over the road A cop pulls him over So says the cop to the driver where have ya been? Why I ve been to the pub of course slurs the drunk Well says the cop it looks like you ve had quite a few to drink this evening I did all right the drunk says with a smile Did you know says the cop standing straight and folding his arms across his chest that a few intersections back your wife fell out of your car? Oh thank heavens sighs the drunk For a minute there I thought I d gone deaf

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership She browses around then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery a loud fart escapes her Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn`t pop up right now As she turns back there standing next to her is a salesman Good day Madame How may we help you today? Very uncomfortably she asks Sir what is the price of this lovely vehicle? He answers Madame if you farted just by touching it you will definitely CRAP your pants when you hear the price

A guy stops by a cafe for breakfast After paying the tab he checks his pockets and leaves his tip - three pennies As he strides toward the door his waitress muses only half to herself You know you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves The man turns around curiosity getting the better of him Oh really? Tell me what does my tip say? Well this penny tells me you re a thrifty man Barely able to conceal his pride the man utters Hmm true enough And this penny it tells me you re a bachelor Surprised at her perception he says Well that s true too And the third penny tells me that your father was one too

पत्नी - मेरे जन्मदिन पर आपकी तरफ से मुझे Blackberry या Apple गिफ्ट में चाहिए
पति - पगली कही की तरबूजा खा सीजन इनका चल रहा है