Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Facebook status original hona chaiye Copied to yeh wala bhi hai

If you like bad things about me on my back come to me I ll tell you more

Bad decisions make good stories No wonder people find me so entertaining

Find someone who will change your life not just your relationship status

I am going on a World Tour to study how I can reduce my wasteful expenditure

Trust me when I wake up everyday I have no plans to be awesome It just happens

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them

The best moments we all lived are the ones we absolutely forgot to take pictures of

Dear K LoL and Hmmmm Thanks for being there when I ve been found wanting for words

Sometimes I wish I was a bird So I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads

The longest 5 seconds in anyone s life is waiting to press the Skip Ad button on YouTube

I didn t go to the gym yesterday But the cashier who served me at McDonalds was named Jim So same thing

The world is not full of assholes But they are strategically placed so that you ll come across one every day

Call a girl beautiful 100 times and she ll never notice Call her fat once and she ll never forget it Because elephants never forget