Lawyers talk how doctors write

Lawyer: the larval stage of a politician

Lawyer s Creed: A man is innocent until proven broke

But for law enforcement and physics I d be unstoppable

If you don t want to follow the laws follow the lawyers

What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? I m not telling you

If you can t follow the laws you ll sure have to follow lawyers

It s better to have loved and lost than to have won and paid a lump sum to a lawye

What s the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion

What do you have if three lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand

What s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A leech will let go when its victim dies

Lawyer: You say you re divorcing your husband for health reasons? Woman: Yes I m sick of him

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose would you go to lunch or to a movie?

Lawyer: Why do you want a divorce? Woman: Every time I sit on my husband s lap he starts dictating