What s the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe? A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm; a catastrophe is when they can all swim

The young couple sat at a night club and cooed heavily: Boy: We could get married easily My father s a minister Girl: Okay Let s try it My father s a lawye

Lawyer: Why do you want to divorce such a beautiful and lovely wife? Husband: Look at my shoe it is also beautiful but only the wearer knows how much it pinches

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender Do you serve lawyers here? Sure do replied the bartender Good said the man Give me a beer and I ll have a lawyer for my alligato

You seem to be in some distress said the kindly judge to the witness Is anything the matter? Well your honour said the witness I swore to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth but every time I try some lawyer objects

Have you heard they re using lawyers instead of rats in laboratories these days? There are three reasons for this: 1 Lawyers reproduce faster 2 The scientists don t get attached to the lawyers 3 A lawyer will do things a rat wouldn t even conside