When lawyers die why are they buried in holes 20 feet deep? Because deep down they re all nice guys
When lawyers die why are they buried in holes 20 feet deep? Because deep down they re all nice guys
Lawyer: What did your husband do before you divorced him? Woman: A lot of things I didn t know about
What s the problem with lawyer jokes? Lawyers don t think they re funny and no one else thinks they re jokes
Woman: My husband has flat feet Is that grounds for divorce? Lawyer: Not unless his feet visit the wrong flat
Q: What s wrong with Lawyer Jokes ? A: Lawyers don t think they re funny; and nobody else thinks they re jokes
A lawyer wrote in his will Give all my estate to fools and madmen From such I had it and to such I give it again
What s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn t get paid more for a longer fight
What is a contingent fee? If the lawyer doesn t win your suit he gets nothing; And if the lawyer does win it you get nothing
Lawyer: You want a divorce because your husband is careless about his appearance? Woman: Yes he hasn t showed up in 18 months
Lawyer: Your honour please grant me anticipatory bail Judge: What have you done? Lawyer: Your Honour I have hired a new secretary
And God said Let there be Satan so people don t blame everything on me And let there be lawyers so people don t blame everything on Satan
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors Bad News: There were three empty seats
Santa went to his lawyer after beating his wife Lawyer: You ll be charged for cruelty? Santa: All right but how much will they charge me?
Overheard while sitting in a court after a girl passed by Advocate 1: She has a Supreme Court figure Advocate 2: What do you mean? Advocate 1: No Appeal
You ve been convicted 5 times of this offence - aren t you ashamed to own to that? No your honour I don t think one ought to be ashamed of his convictions