Patient: Doctor doctor I can t stop stealing things Doctor: Take these pills for a week and if they don t work get me a 42-inch flat screen TV

Nurse: Doctor the man you ve just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do? Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was arriving

A lady called her family doctor: Doctor my husband just swallowed the aspirins by mistake what shall I do? Doctor: Give him a headache now what else?

The doctor said to patient I want you take your clothes off and stick your tongue out of the window What will that do? Not much But I hate my neighbou

Nurse (in mental home): A man called He wants to know if we ve lost any male patients Resident Doctor: Why? Nurse: He says someone has run off with his wife

Santa to a doctor Doctor Saheb I hear that you pay commission to the person who brings patients for you? Doctor: I do Where s the patient? Santa: I m the patient also

Prisoner: Doc You ve already removed my spleen tonsils adenoids and one of my kidneys I only came to see if you could get me out of this place Doctor: I sure ll but only bit by bit

A lady waited patiently at the pharmacist till he was free to serve her At last he asked May I help you madam? Could you please read this letter from my fiance for me? He is a docto

Two old men were sitting in bar One said to other My wife s a mess She has gonorrhoea diarrhoea and ascariasis Why do you stay with her? said the other Because I love to fish and she has great worms

Doctor: So you have cut down on drinking Santa: No not at all Doctor: But I told you to watch your drinking Santa: Yes I am very particular about it Now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls

Banta: Did you you go to the doctor for your ailment? Santa: Yes I did Banta: Did he find out what you had? Santa: Very nearly Banta: What do you mean very nearly? Santa: Well I had 450 bucks and he charged me 400

A surgeon went to visit his twin brother a vicar at a parish During his morning walk a parishioner mistaking him for the vicar congratulated him on his sermon Sorry replied the surgeon I am not the twin who preaches I am the one who practices

After quite a number of days of being admitted in the hospital Santa to his wife Jeeto: I m worried dear I don t think doctors have any idea about my ailment Jeeto: What makes you think that way? Santa: The Suggestion Box at the end of the bed