How does a funeral director sign his correspondence? Yours eventually

When someone rings the doorbell why do dogs always assume it s for them?

What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time? A: Lazy bones

Men are like coolers - load them with beer and you can take them anywhere

Why was the computer so tired when it got home? Because it had a hard drive

I was playing poker with Tarot Cards I got a full house and four people died

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn t find any

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It s good for the bones

How can you tell when your computer s starting to get old? It loses its memory

How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the kids have to play inside

Golfer 1: My doctor tells me I can t play golf Golfer 2: So he s played with you too

Master is it proper for a monk to use email? Sure as long as there are no attachments

Disability jokes are not funny I ve got a friend in a wheelchair who just can t stand it

Did your hear about the cemetery that raised its burial cost? It blamed the cost of living