Sometimes all you need is a good cup of coffee (or a good drink) and 5 million dollars

Dancing is the art of pulling your feet away faster than your partner can step on them

I promise I am sorry and I love you - they all have eight letters but so does Bullshit

A healthy attitude is contagious; But; Don t wait to catch it from others Be a carrie

I got my girlfriend to come the other day I can also get her to fetch sit and play dead

If I m ever murdered I have no doubt my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand

Dear Yahoo I ve never heard someone say I don t know let s Yahoo it Sincerely Google

I am very active on social networking sites but still my neighbours think that I am not

See No Evil; Hear No Evil; Speak No Evil And you shall never be a success at any party

People around the world have gone so lazy I am sure World War III will be fought online

There are people in this world who do not love their fellow men I hate people like that

Why are computers like air conditioners? They work fine until you start opening Windows

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

The hardest thing in life is to do nothing - because you never know when you re finished

My sleeping schedule is totally dependent on the remaining battery power of my phone