Santa: The wife caught me cheating yesterday It was a stupid and careless mistake Banta: Oh my God So bad Santa: Yep it s sad she s never going to play Monopoly with me again

Santa s father gave him a gun on wedding night said: Fire in the air if ur wife is virgin and shoot her if she s not Santa fired in the air the 1st night shot her the 2nd night

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell Santa doesn t turns up for 4 days Lady calls again Santa replies: I m coming daily since 4 days I press the bell but no one comes out

Santa and Banta are drinking at a bar when Banta falls off his stool and slumps motionless to the floor Santa says to the bartender I ll say this for Banta he knows when to stop

Santa: My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school Banta: So how did you do it? Santa: He s a weakling So I punched him in the face and stole his lunch money

Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again Banta: Why are you buying the movie tickets again and again? Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets

After being nicked twice by the barber s razor Banta asked for a glass of water Sorry Sir said the barber Is there a hair in your mouth? Banta: No I want to see if my neck leaks

Santa took his broken down car for repair The mechanic fixed it in two minutes Santa: What happened? Mechanic: Just shit in the air filter Santa: How often do I have to do that?

Santa: The doctor told me to drink alcohol only one day a week Banta: But you drink everyday Santa: Yeah He did not say which day So I drink every day so as not to miss that day

On a crowded bus Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed What s the matter? Are you sick? he asked No I m okay It s just that I hate to see old ladies standing replied Santa

Santa pulls up at a red light beside a gorgeous young woman smiles at her and lowers his window The woman smiles back and also lowers her window Ah says Santa So you farted too?

Santa: I prefer not to think before I speak Banta: But why? It is against traditional wisdom Santa: I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth

Santa was getting down at almost every station and buying a ticket Co-passenger: Why don t you buy 1 ticket for the whole trip? Santa: My doctor advised me not to take long trips

Yoga teacher to Jeeto: Has yoga any effect over your husband s drinking habit? Jeeto: Yes an amazing funny effect Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head

Santa: My wife left me because of my views on the environment Banta: That s really weird Santa: Yeah it really is I only tried saving water by showering with the woman next doo