Santa while travelling to Scotland Innkeeper: The room is Rs 1 500 a night It s 1 000 if you make your own bed Santa: I ll make my own bed Innkeeper: Good I ll get you some nails and wood

Santa: I am 96% Jesus Banta: You re conceited Santa: I can prove that Banta: And how? Santa: Jesus can walk on water I can walk on cucumbers Cucumbers are 96% water therefore I m 96% Jesus

Banta: That s an awful gash you ve got on your forehead How did you get it? Santa: I bit myself Banta: How the hell did you manage to bite yourself on the forehead? Santa: I stood on a chai

Santa: My son Pappu is a genius? Banta: How can you say that? Santa: He doesn t know how to drive a car Banta: What s the co-relation? Santa: Even Einstein couldn t drive the car all his life

Jeeto to his hubby Santa in a very cheerful mood Darling what s the reason that you re clicking a lot of my pictures? Santa: I have really developed this new passion for Wild Life photography

Banta on his first visit to a new barber shop remarked Your dog takes great interest in watching you cut hair Yep said the barber That s because sometimes I snip off a bit of a customer s ea

The security guard saluted Santa when he checked out of the hotel Santa: Take these 100 rupees Guard: Thank you Sir Santa: Thank you baad me bolna mujhe khulle chahiye 50-50 ke do note hain?

Drunk Santa is staggering along the street with one foot on the kerb and the other in the gutter A police officer stops him and says: You re drunk Thank God says Santa I thought I was crippled

Jeeto in a pretty upset tone Why do you go out on the balcony whenever I sing? Don t you like to hear me? It s not that said Santa I just want the neighbours to see that I m not beating my wife

A lady calls Santa for repairing her door bell Santa doesn t turns up for 4 days Lady calls again Santa replies I have been coming daily for the last 4 days I press the bell but no one comes out

Banta: Someone told me that Cable TV is not good for kids They don t study at all So I got it uninstalled Santa: That s a smart thing to do Banta: Thanks Now I have got a Dish installed instead

Santa: I was driving on the freeway and I saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that said Heaven He got hit by my car Banta: Then what happened? Santa: He seemed like a nice guy so he probably made it

Santa while driving home met with an accident after getting drunk and became unconscious Soon after waking up he muttered Where am I? Where am I? Nurse: This is number 231 Santa: Room or cell?

Santa: A cop came up to me with a sniffer dog and said This dog tells me you re on drugs Banta: So what transpired? Santa: I confronted him by saying I m on drugs? You re the one talking to dogs

Police: Knock Knock Santa: Who s there? Police: Police Open the door we only need to talk Santa: How many are you? Police: We are three Santa: So why don t you just talk to each other Bufoons?