Santa who s not in the best physical condition asked the trainer in the gym I want to impress that beautiful lady Which machine should I use? The trainer replied Use the ATM machine outside the gym

Sitting in a bar having drinks with Banta Santa casually pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar and said That s us in ten years Banta glanced and replied That s mirror Santa: Oh Deepshit

Banta: Why do you send all the messages to me twice? Santa: So that you keep one and forward the other Banta: Stupid then you shall send it to me thrice Santa: Why? Banta: So that I can delete one

Santa and Banta went on a fishing trip Banta: What s the biggest fish you ve ever caught? Santa: You ve seen Jaws ? Banta: Wow So big? Santa: Well it was about the same size as the box the DVD comes

Santa went to a restaurant in China Waiter: Sir I have Stewed Liver Boiled Tongue and Frog s Legs Santa: I am not a doctor who can address your health problems I am hungry So just get me a Menu Card

Conductor to Santa Do you mind if I put your bag out of the way Sir? people coming in are falling over it Indifferent Santa: You leave it where it is If nobody falls over it I shall forget it s there

Santa: After watching Bhaag Milkha Bhaag last night I had a disturbed sleep Banta: What happened? Santa: This morning I dreamed someone was shouting On your marks get set go And I woke up with a start

Santa: Doctor everybody thinks I am mad Doctor: But why? Santa: Because I like omelettes Doctor: There s nothing wrong with that Even I like omelettes Santa: Really? Come I ll show you my collection

Santa: How much is my mobile bill? Call Centre Girl: Sir just dial 123 to know your Current bill Santa: Stupid I have already paid my electricity bill I want to know my Mobile bill and not Current bill

Santa while taking a head-bath was applying shampoo even on his shoulders Jeeto: Why are you applying shampoo on shoulders? Santa: This shampoo is special It is clearly written on it Head and Shoulders

Judge: I have reviewed this case very carefully and I ve decided to give your wife Rs 20 000 per month Santa: That s very fair your honor And every now and then I ll try to send her a few bucks myself

Santa: Off late I have been doing a lot of charity work Banta: That s very thoughtful What s your particular area of philanthropy? Santa: I volunteer my opinion just about almost anything and everything

Santa read an article to Jeeto about how many words women use a day 30 000 to a man s 15 000 Jeeto: The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men Santa turns to Jeeto and asked What?

Santa: I m on a new diet I only eat food that swims Banta: That sounds great Fish is very healthy for you Santa: Yuck forget fish Do you realise how much trouble I m having teaching a hen to dog-paddle

Jeeto: Could you please go and buy one carton of milk and if they have eggs get 6 A short time later Santa comes back with 6 cartons of milk Jeeto: Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk? Santa: They had eggs