Santa was weeping at a grave Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend? Santa: My wife’s first husband

Santa: Some grey bearded man is using my name and distributing Christmas presents Banta: You mean Santa Claus? Santa: Yes I can t distribute gifts but can only spread happiness and laughter Merry Christmas

Why didn t you deliver that message as instructed? Santa asked his servant Servant: I did the best I could sir Santa: The best you could If I had known I was going to send a donkey I would have gone myself

Santa went to a store on 15th August to buy some liquor Shopkeeper: Sorry Sir it s a Dry Day today Santa: You must come out of the shop and see that s it s been raining since morning How can it be a dry day

Santa got coaxed and bought an offbeat car brand He went to the Car salesman and said You sold me a car two weeks ago Salesman: Yes sir Santa: Tell me again all you said about it then I m getting discouraged

Santa: Candle light bubble baths are so relaxing Banta: Really? Santa: Yep Banta: But when and where do you take it? Santa: I don t take it Every time my wife takes one I get about an hour of peace and quiet

Once Santa went for skydiving The instructor told him to open the parachute when he starts recognising the faces of the people standing on the ground Santa doubting the instructions What if I don t know anyone?

Banta: Why are you sad today? Santa: The employees of my company are accusing me of hiring my secretary for her looks It s really crazy because during the interview I don t remember staring at her face even once

Jeeto (as husband is leaving): Dear will you remember to bring home something for the rats this evening? Santa: Something for the rats? Certainly not If the rats can t eat what we have in the house let them leave

Banta to Santa: What according to you is the difference between a wife and a girl friend? Santa: Wife is like a Demand Draft - trust-worthy all the time; and girl friend is like a Cheque which may bounce any time

Santa: I got a very good deal so I bought 62 different kind of fish Banta: Where are you going to keep them? Santa: In the bathtub Banta: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Santa: Blindfold them

Santa rang in the labor room of the hospital to know about his pregnant wife Jeeto By mistake he dialed the number of a cricket stadium Santa: How is it going? Reply: Fine 4 are already out The last one was a duck

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn t paying attention in class She called on him and said Pappu What are 4 2 28 and 44? Little Johnny quickly replied Cartoon Network Ten Sports Discovery Channel and Pogo

Santa to his driver Jasbir I found this long brown hair on the back seat of my limousine My wife s hair is black Jasbir: I ll give you an explanation Sir Santa: Explanation nothing What I want is an introduction

Santa: Crime figures show that your car is most likely to be stolen when it s parked outside your house Banta: Yeah I know But mine would never be stolen Santa: Why? Banta: I park it outside my neighbour s house