The past of eat is ate; And the future of ate is Weight

Honesty is the best policy Unless you want people to like you

My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right

Laughter is always the best medicine unless you have diarrhea

Most accidents won t happen if we avoid potholes and assholes

I hate it when I run to hug someone sexy and I hit the mirro

People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life

5 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matte

New Table Etiquette: Forks on the Left and Mobile on the Right

Cellphones have ruined the joy of throwing someone into a pool

I wonder what happens when a doctor s wife eats an apple a day

Some women are terribly hard to please the rest are impossible

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a longer life

Dear Food Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat

What s more dangerous than a woman is a woman with good memory