The past of eat is ate; And the future of ate is Weight
Honesty is the best policy Unless you want people to like you
My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right
Laughter is always the best medicine unless you have diarrhea
Most accidents won t happen if we avoid potholes and assholes
I hate it when I run to hug someone sexy and I hit the mirro
People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life
5 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matte
New Table Etiquette: Forks on the Left and Mobile on the Right
Cellphones have ruined the joy of throwing someone into a pool
I wonder what happens when a doctor s wife eats an apple a day
Some women are terribly hard to please the rest are impossible
Aging seems to be the only available way to live a longer life
Dear Food Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat
What s more dangerous than a woman is a woman with good memory