Nice perfume but do you really need to marinate in it?

The problem with some people is that they re breathing

I didn t say it was your fault I said I was blaming you

Mirrors don t lie Lucky for you they don t laugh eithe

I suffer from Alzheimer s I always forget to give a shit

Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence

After meeting you I ve decided I am in favour of abortion

If I gave a sh*t you d be the first person I d give it to

A sure-fire way to lose ten ugly pounds: Cut off your head

Text me when you re bored and I ll ignore it like I m busy

Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you re an a**hole

I m allergic to stupidity it makes me break out in sarcasm

Wish some people would just disappear Quietly gently softly

Some people just need a hug with my hands around their neck

Don t like me? Cool I don t wake up every day to impress you