A Thermometer is not the only thing that gets a DEGREE without having a BRAIN

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity

Just because I m smiling doesn t mean that I don t want to hit you in the face

I don t hate you It s just that if you were on fire I would roast marshmallows

That was actually really funny But I don t like you I therefore shall not laugh

If I offended anyone with my comments I assure you that was purely my intention

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn t have given you worse advice

I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at

It s not that I hate you It s just that if you caught fire I d roast marshmallows

Don t feel bad if you feel ugly today because you ve been always ugly

If you re talking behind my back then you re in a fabulous position to KISS MY ASS

One day I caught myself smiling for no reason then I realized I was thinking of you

I was doing just fine before you came; but I think I ll be fine now that you re gone

Don t feel special if I text you back within 2 minutes my phone is always in my hand

You are so beautiful sweet and faithful it s really a pity that I do not love animals