Santa: I clearly had the right of way when this man ran into me and yet you say I was to blame Local officer: You certainly were Santa: Why? Local Officer: Because his father is an MLA his brother is an SP and I am going around with his siste
Banta asks Santa: Why did you run away from operation table Santa: The nurse was repeatingly saying - don t get nervous don t be afraid This is a minor operation Banta: So what was wrong in it? Santa: She was not speaking to me but to the surgeon
Santa: I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table I said Great legs Banta: Go on I am all ears Santa: The girl giggled and said with a smile Do you really think so I said Definitely Most tables would have collapsed by now
Santa goes into a bar orders six shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can The bartender says Sir why are you drinking so fast? Santa answers You would be drinking fast if you had what I had Bartender: What do you have? Santa: Just 20 rupees
Wake up shouted Jeeto to Santa What s the matter? said Santa Jeeto: You re talking in your sleep again Why don t you control yourself? Santa: All right We ll make a bargain You let me talk when I m awake and I ll try to control myself when I m asleep
Santa: To improve my digestion I drink beer; For loss of appetite I drink white wine; For low blood pressure I drink red wine; When I have cold I drink whiskey Banta: And when do you drink water Santa: Thank god I have never had such a serious illness
Banta: Why re you drunk so early? Santa: I got a leaflet in my morning newspaper ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW WE CAN HELP Banta: I don t think it helped So did you call? Santa: I called It turned out to be a Liquor Shop Ad with an offer Buy 5 get 2 free
Drunk Santa gets on the bus late one night staggers up the aisle and sits next to an elderly woman She looks the man up and down and says I ve got news for you You re going straight to hell Santa jumps up out of his seat and shouts Man I m on the wrong bus
Santa: I got a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes for starving people throughout the world Banta: So you did? Santa: No I told them to get lost Banta: That was rude Santa: No way anybody who fits into my clothes can t be starving
Santa: Doctor are you sure I m suffering from pneumonia? I ve heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus Doctor: Don t worry it won t happen to you If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only
Banta after a few rounds of drinks to Santa Let s go to Macau Santa: Any plan made after drinks in the evening fizzles out by the next morning Banta: So? Santa: So why not make grander plans like going to USA In any case the plan is going to get cancelled
Santa: I think my wife is selling drugs Banta: That s weird What makes you think so? Santa: Yesterday I was running late for work and the phone rang I answered it but before I could say anything a male voice on the line said Hey honey is that dope gone yet?
Santa: Good evening Thought I d drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week Banta: I m sorry but I lent it to a friend of mine Were you wanting it? Santa: Well not for myself but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it
Santa and Banta were on a holiday While on a hillock Santa to Banta Are you coming up? Banta: What s up there? Santa: The view Banta: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here Santa: You are about the worst tourist in the whole world
Santa walks into a bar and asks the bartender Was I in here last night? You certainly were replies the bartender And did I spend a lot of money? Santa asked You spent over Rs 10000 replies the bartender Thank god for that says Santa I thought I d wasted it
